the only star.

I want my confidence back!

2010-10-01T21:28:00.000-07:00

3 more days to End Of Year Examinations. So far how's my preparation? I'm not confident at all.

What's happening to you, Septimo? What happened? What's wrong with you? I don't know, I don't know. I'm just got this feeling that I've changed. To someone that loses her soul. Everything is getting worse for me. I just don't understand why. Why is all these happening to me? I wanted to changed for the better, but it seems that I can't do it anymore. I've lost my confidence. I want my soul, my confidence back! I want Septimo back! I can do it, because I KNOW I CAN!!

My Sweet Sixteen.

2010-09-18T09:11:00.000-07:00

Hapy Birthday, Tan Jin Luan Septimo.

Finally, my sweet sixteen. It supposed to be sweet, but I find that its not really true.

My birthday is boring and lonely. Athough I'm glad that people wish me happy birthday, but my day is boring.. I wanted to have fun, jump around like a kid, laugh my head off, smile till my lips are cramped up, but its kinda impossible. I can't achieve what I want now. But still, I wanna wish myself a HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN! I love myself! :D

Your will, your dreams.

2010-09-07T01:49:00.000-07:00

The only dream of being a pilot

Everytime I hear a plane passes by, I'll get excited and awaits the sound of the plane flying pass. It triggers me to achieve something big in life that no one wants to. Although it look kind of impossible for me to be a pilot, but seriously who knows? Only God knows what our future will be. But our very own future lies in our own hands, if you want to achieve something big, no one is there to block your way, unless you're giving up. That would of course equals to you blocking your own way to your dreams. Have dreams, because only by having dreams, then you will have the motivation to achieve the dream you always wanted.

Although I am still discovering what are my strengths or even what I really wanted to be, but I still believe that as long as I have dreams, I'm already on my way to become a pilot. So what if people say that "Hey, come on. Don't think too much, you wanna be a pilot? Oh my, then I assure you, your plane will crash." Although this is a bit unrealistic, but at least I dream. I will fight for what I always wanted in life and not wasting my time away by doing things that I aren't supposed to do.

Today is already Tuesday, I'm only left with about 29 days at most for my End of Year Examination. This examination is really important to me, in fact. Because it will determine where I'll go and where I can go. I want to study hard for this and hopefully I can still stay in thru-train. Because at the end of the day, I want to be someone useful in the society and I want to achieve my dream of being a pilot.

Suddenly, I feel like I'm a loner.

2010-08-06T00:12:00.000-07:00

Happy Advanced Birthday, Singapore!

Today's National Day Celebration 2010 in Jurong Secondary! Can't get to watch the parade, a bit disappointed, but guess what? I had lots of fun with Caroline for the concert segment! Its really a great opportunity for me as I would want to experience differently for being an emcee. Actually, being an emcee can either be easy for some people whereas difficult for some of us too. A very good example is me! I find that being an emcee is not easy at all. As I'm all along a slow learner, so I tend to screw things up. I wasn't clear what I wanted to say before me myself opening up my mouth to speak. It all begins when I'm a pledge taker. I remembered I was very very nervous during that time, because what I always thought is that "BEING AN EMCEE IS EASY AND FUN!". This is what I had in mind, so no matter what, I still give my very best although I'm really nervous. More opportunities was given to me as time passes. I treasured every chance I had and do the best out of it. Slowly, I'm getting used to be an emcee and until now, I don't get really nervous anymore. In fact, I've learnt a lot about myself. I tend to lose my confidence when I screw things up. But the only thing that brings back my confidence is when at the end, the in-charge or whoever will praise me for a job well-done. Of course, I'm not doing this just to attain praises or encouragement from people, I just want to learn to be a better leader, a better person. A very good place for me to grow and learn is Student Council. I learnt all the leadership skills and gain my confidence there. My batchmates and my seniors is also helping me to grow and learn as better leaders in Jurong. Being an emcee can be easy too, when you let the nervousness in you to convert it into your energy and convey whatever you need to say out, with confidence. Today, I've really enjoyed a lot for the concert segment, as I'm the emcee, with Caroline. I believed Caroline had enjoyed herself too. This is the first time that I did this on stage! I really hope my fellow schoolmates and teachers, even the principals, have enjoyed themselves too. I really have a great day today. Thank you, Jurong.
-
I think its really going to be very boring for me for the next few days, as Mummy is at Philippines now. I will surely miss her a lot. Mummy, do buy a lot of things for us okay? We miss you. Hope you enjoy yourselves there. Mahal Kita.

-
Going to aunt house later to stay overnight. Resting now at home for a while first. Really tired plus hungry! Poor thing, right? Even went to my primary school just now to fetch my brother home. He's really naughty.. Haha!
-
Okays, I got to go. Bye.
-

Enjoy yourself, ♥.

Average.

2010-07-26T02:37:00.000-07:00

Wow, it was raining cats and dogs in the wee hours this morning. The weather was really freezing cold and I wished that I could sleep a little longer. But sad to say, I was woken up by my father. Plus, my mummy switched on the lights. ARGH! So I have no choice but to wake up in around 6.15am like that, was really relunctant. Bath, get dressed up and prepare all my stuffs and get ready to go to school. Intending to bring my jacket along, but I forgot all about it. Nice. Took the bus and reached school about 7am. Wow, Kittyee was absent, hahaha. Hey girl, what a funny reason! :D Study, study and study.

After school, went to do some LCD stuffs then went home. Learnt something today. Hehe, but shan't say it out. Because it will be kind of stupid for people like me. :D

Afterall, its still average. Hope to see more progress.

Felt really redundant.

2010-07-24T17:29:00.000-07:00

I seriously don't understand what's wrong with me. I'm getting restless day by day. I wanna know the main reason for it, but I can't. Is something really bothering me that much? What will it be then? I really wanna know. Someone, give me an answer. This matter hurts me, it really really hurts. This blow is taking my soul away. I wanna be who I am again, but I guess, it's hard. Everything is against me, I felt as if I'm in some strange place in this world, whereby I hardly recognised anyone or anything. I'm desperate for help, I'm desperate for someone to be there for me when I needed help. At the end, greater hopes gives me greater disappointment. I'm always an enthusiatic girl, open-minded and as well always positive. But now what's happening? I felt as if everyone in this world hates me, which I finally feel the pain. Always thought of this and that, yet afterall I'm still redundant. What for? Seriously, I don't think I deserve that. Everytime I wanna get myself up on feet, somehow I will still fall. Fall till I'm really sick of getting up. Always have the thought of giving up already, but I know myself. I won't give up till the very last breath. I'm gonna prove to you guys that you were wrong to even let me suffer like that. You'll see a different me when I put my heart into this. I will work hard, never let those who believe in me and have faith in me, to lose heart because of this. I trust myself, I know I can do this. Wait and see.

Be proud, girl.

2010-07-17T23:26:00.000-07:00

Just came back from camp. :X Exhausted, but I think overall we managed to meet our objectives, Ahoyset! Its a job well-done, three cheers! :D I hope after we take over office, we will work well together. Never forget that we were always do as one, fall as one and succeed as one. I always have faith in you guys, I believe we could do this TOGETHER. Unity, Support, Resilience. A batch full of hopes and passion. Never let the fire die in us. We can do it, because we know we can.

Received our post yesterday. Some of us were satisfied of what we've got, but some not. Ahoyset, I know its hard to accept this, but still, we have to accept this. No matter what is our desired post, we still must give our 100% of what post we've gotten. I know you guys can do this, all the best. Although me myself can't believe that I did not achieved the post I fight so hard for, but still I will give my very best for the post I've gotten.

Mr Tan, don't worry, I don't hate you for lying to me and not giving me the post I always wanted. In fact, I wanna thank you for giving me this chance to showcase my abilities. The fact that you've given me this post proves that I can do this and I'm capable for that. I should not despise myself but instead be proud of myself. I've decided to do my very best in it and not let you down, especially Ahoyset too. Sorry for yesterday, I hope you could forgive me for that and allow me to work well with you in future. Once again, A BIG THANK YOU to you.

COLOURFUL, I don't want a DULL life.

2010-07-12T06:47:00.000-07:00

Colourful? This represent my life. Life of a human being ought to be like this. But of course i know, sometimes, our life is only black and white. Well, although I believe that there are times that our life is only black and white, but I do not agree that our life were never once COLOURFUL. Everytime I'm feeling down, I always wanted to look at the bright side. Maybe sometimes, you're really not in the mood to smile or be happy, but as long as we think of the bright side, you will actually learn to persuade yourself to be optimistic. Life is considered short for us, human beings. So, why waste our time thinking negatively? We should enjoy our life as COLOURFUL as possible, right? Work hard and later enjoy our own fruit of labour. Have goals, life will be even meaningful. A smile a day keeps depression away. (:

Best wishes. May all of you have a COLOURFUL life.

Books Books Books. ^v^

2010-07-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

Parents are both working, brother went out with his friends.

I was all alone at home now. I don't want to stay at home actually,

I WANT TO WATCH DESPICABLE ME!

But sad to say, no one wants to accompany me to watch. ):

I know its kind of sad, but no choice.

Just went to watch movie with Joanna(♥) and Mini(♥) yesterday.

Hey, Sistas, thanks for yesterday uh. Had fun! :D

Guess I'm going to study again. Tomorrow got school!

Went to view blogshops, facebook and blogged.

Gonna study now.

Don't frown, keep smiling.

The only star.

2010-06-27T01:07:00.000-07:00

Heyhey, changed my blogskin and I find it kind of weird.
So will change blogskin again when I'm free.
Sorry for that. Tomorrow school reopens already!
Oh My God, time really flies so quickly.
I am still in holiday mood, sad to say.
Will post again later. Going to eat my luch first. Hehe.
See you. ^^

Sista's concert. (:

2010-06-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

Went to Sista's concert earlier back on @ Marsiling Sec. like around 3 hours and 40 mins ago.

It's really a great performance, Sista! (: I can hear that there are some off points between some instruments, but overall I still think its good. I like some of the songs like, Fantasia on Terra Cotta Warriors, ToZanarkand, Minuet in Gmajor, La Reine De Saba and Flying Apsaras. I love all these pieces because I find all these songs moving and really meaningful. All songs have a special meaning behind it. Its really a very good opportunity to be able to go to different concerts from different schools to hear some fantastic pieces of songs the present. Big thank you to you, Sista. Next time if got more of these, must inform me, okay? Hahas. Thanks again,Sista. (: An Amazing Performance By Marsiling Sec. Chinese Orchestra.

-Hmm, watching Glee now. Hey, Glee's not bad uh! :X

Here are some pics during the concert! Sorry, a bit unglam, Sista.

She stands up, LOL.

So serious, first time, Babe.

It's really amazing!

Caught you!

Concentrate! Heh.

Their conductor, Mr Low. (:

Chinese Orchesra @ Marsiling Sec, Wonders Of Music.

Re-alive.

2010-06-21T21:16:00.000-07:00

Blog is re-open again for readers. To my dearest cousins, I hope to see all of you reconcile. No more quarrelling, arguements, etc. that will hurt the relationship between you girls. Sometimes, whatever we do or say do hurt the other party. We must learn to treat everyone fairly. I want to express my feelings by saying somethings to you girls.
All of you are my cousins, so no matter what, we're cousins forever.
I don't wish to see that one day we are not close anymore.
I want all of us to be able to be as close as possible till we grow old.
When you girls needed help or advices, I would wish to be there for all of you.
I don't want any of you to get hurt or humiliated by anything or anyone.
I would always hope for the best for you girls.
Remember, we're cousins for life. (L)
I apologise if I have did anything wrong to you girls in the past, present or future.
I hope we would be there for one another and stay happy together.
Cousins forever.

Bored..

2010-05-15T23:05:00.000-07:00

Hello, I'm so bored so I just simply update a while, hehs.

Erm, post pic on blog seems a bit weird. Hahs.

Ahyo, forget it already. Say bye here. Take care. (L)

Mid-Year is here again.

2010-05-05T03:34:00.000-07:00

Long time didn't post already. Time flies.

Mid year is here. So SLC is also just near by.

Was tense, was afraid, not confident at all.

I'm tense with the pressure I'm facing with.

I'm afraid of the results.

I'm not confident to do well.

Why?

But, I am who I am. I'm special.

I shouldn't be tense, afraid nor lose the confidence in me.

I can do it, because I know I always can.

Nobody have the rights to lose faith in me. Except me.

But losing faith in myself is NEVER going to happen, unless I die.

Because of faith, it gives me courage, the will to go on and strive.

Faith, Iloveyou.

Broken mirror.

2010-03-01T00:36:00.000-08:00

Woke up at 6 plus today early in the morning for school.

Was super tired, don't even feel like waking up for school.

Reached school at 7 plus, although must reach at 7am! :X

Hahas. Then went to put my bag at class. Met caroline and

sec2s pledge takers. Then, flag raising. Blablahblah..

Lessons as usual. During POA( Principles of Accounts ),

I suddenly not feeling well. Super tired, not in the mood to

listen and study and stuffs. Then blahblahblah..

At the end of the day, I dropped my mirror! ):

I threw my mirror away, with guilt. Because I do treasure

my mirror, but somewhat somehow, my mirror will dropped

to the floor and eventually leave a crack. I have no choice but

to throw my mirror away. Because my mirror wouldn't stay

with me forever, agree? Get a new mirror or don't buy a mirror again?

If you ask me, I would choose to buy a new one and start afresh.

And this time, I would treasure my mirror.

Is this really true?

2010-02-25T06:50:00.000-08:00

Trait snapshot:
open, tough, irritable, worrying, does not like to be alone, craves attention, low self control, emotionally sensitive, interacting, sad, very social, aggressive, prefer organized to unpredictable, dependent, social chameleon, suspicious, values the heart over the mind, likes large parties, outgoing, likes to make fun, likes to fit in, mildly phobic, vain, makes friends easily, enjoys leadership, clingy, rash

Wow, it looks a bit real to me? Today, I finally know that actually I'm scary.

Happy Birthday, Sista!

2010-02-25T05:37:00.000-08:00

Sista, Happy Birthday! Stay Pretty, babe!

Wish you good luck and hope that all your dreams will come true, haha!

Sorry for being random. But I'll not forget you. You're great!

I'm happy to have you as my cousin. How I wish you were my sister! <3

Once again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Sorry, will give you your present on sunday, haha. ^^

A2? Can dream, but can't be real.

2010-02-07T23:35:00.000-08:00

To: Ms Teoh
Ms Teoh, I'm so sorry that I got to disappoint you this time.
I've no confidence of getting an A2 for all my subjects.
Today's Physics and Chemistry test, I can only hope for a pass.
I'm so sorry, because I really feel terrible for the past few days.
But don't worry, I'm always an enthusiastic girl! Yeah?
I'm so proud of myself for that. No matter how hard it is going
to be, I would not give up. ^^ You're such a caring and great teacher.
I won't disappoint you next time, because I myself also want to strive!
Hehe, so.. Jiayou Septimo! And Ms Teoh, you also must jiayou! (: Haha!
-Septimo.

Yesterday is terrible. Today was okay. Tomorrow is a hope for me.

Nothing of character is really permanent but virtue and personal worth.

-Daniel Webster

Depression?

2010-02-06T21:21:00.000-08:00

Symptoms of Depression

Sadness or hopelessness.
Irritability, anger or hostility.
Tearfulness or frequent crying.
Withdrawal from friends and family.
Loss of interest in activities.
Changes in eating and sleeping habits.
Restlessness and agitation.
Feelings of worthlessness and guilt.
Lack of enthusiasm and motivation.
Fatigue or lack of energy.
Difficulty concentrating.
Thoughts of death and suicide.

Oh no. I got 8/12! What am I supposed to do? Should I seek help?

Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising everytime we fall.

-Confucius

Flunked. Sick!

2010-02-06T20:29:00.000-08:00

Oh My God! I flunked all my class tests! I must really work extra hard for my common test now! I don't want to fail my common test! But for now, it seems quite impossible to study hard. You know why? Cause i'm sick! So unlucky recently.. Gosh, having fever, headache, runny nose and i need strength! Help! Hopefully, I can pass my common test, because all i can hope for now is to just pass my common test. I can't wish for more already. Cannot be greedy!^^ I flunked my physics test by 2 marks, flunked my maths test( both by 2 marks)! This is not supposed to happen right?! I'm so fed up! I should pass with flying colours! I studied so hard for that! Never mind. I think i should put in extra effort. I must do well for the next upcoming tests! I believe i can do it, because i can!

Hardwork. Strength. Confidence.

Hello.

2010-02-05T22:46:00.000-08:00

Hello. I just changed my blogskin. If you want me to link you or anything,
leave a tag. (: And if you want to comment anything, feel free to tag too.
Hopefully, its positive. Thanks again. (:

Why?

2010-02-05T05:21:00.000-08:00

I really didn't know. Why didn't you tell me earlier? I should have waited for you.
But I dislike being initiative, cause i've been doing that for all my life.
Why? Why can't you just tell me straight? I thought you were straightforward?
Do you even know how I feels? Isn't how I feel even important?
Don't you ever wish to protect me even once? Don't you know that every single thing you did makes me happy? Because of this, I've waited for months,just for you. But still, I won't give up.
I hope you won't too. I'll wait then. Isn't it obvious? Don't tell me you don't know..

Relunctantly, I shouldn't give up if I know..

Terrible .

2010-01-05T07:46:00.000-08:00

I just feel very terrible . Kept on crying and crying . Nothing can be done . Super useless . Totally pathetic . Full stop .

Bored again .

2009-12-14T07:36:00.000-08:00

Back . Though quite late , but still , never mind .
Bored again ! I can't find anything to do , so I blog better .
Hmm , intending to start homework , but lazy leh :X
Bored !!! Currently , msn-ing , blogging and texting Sista !
Sista , don't sad le , cheer up ! Don't fret . :D
Haiz , I think i sleep early ? Okay then .
Goodnight , people . (L)

Oh my , the heat's crazy !

2009-12-14T03:56:00.000-08:00

Decided to post for a short while before having my dinner , hehe .
Wow , I find that the heat's crazy !
Gosh . Was feeling so hot from just now till now .
Never mind , I think I should bath another time .
I'm crazy already , haha .
Ahyo , what a waste .
Actually , can work from 14th to 18th of dec de lor ..
But I decided to go for the meeting today as i find it important ?
Well , I do like council , that is the reason . I gave up that chance .
After today , do hope Ahoyset will be united again ! Hehe .
Plus , hope that Ahoyset can be free of problems ! :D
Okay , I'll stop here first . Will post again later on .
GOGOGO ! ~

I want christmas present ! (:

2009-12-12T08:42:00.000-08:00

Feeling bored recently . I'm like rotting at home like that , hahas . I was thinking a lot too . , was it really like that ? Never mind ba . Working part-time from next week onwards . So that I won't be that bored ba ? Hehe . Was hoping to earn more money so that I can get new stuffs for next year ! Most importantly , was hoping to get more presents for you guys on christmas ! (: So , I must earn , earn , earn !!! Wow , so busy with my own life that I didn't even touch my schoolwork ! Gosh , that was simply terrible . Well , I'll try to catch up as soon as i could next year , can ? Feeling tired , hehe :X But still , thank God that I could go to thru-train ! Will work hard de . Okay la , post till here . Nights , people . (: